How Ooo Never Existed
by lizzyleefree
Summary: From the first episodes of season 5. What would happen if that sandwich really was Jake's only wish? "Sometimes a well intentioned wish can lead to...'nuts.'"
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: SPOILER ALERT! This is from the episode released TOMORROW from season 5. How did I start a fic before the episode was even released? Well, it's because I'm a psychic and I'm mad boss…naw, I'm just kidding- it was leaked. Anyways, don't read this if you haven't seen the episode yet. _

_Now, on to the story: Jake is about to make his wish, but the results turn out a little differently than in the episode…_

Jake thought for a few seconds about what to wish for, but was drawing a complete blank. He was just a chubby lil' dog! How could he come up with one wish that would return things to how they should be and save the entire universe?

He shoved the thought out of his mind quickly. It was too much pressure. He looked up at Prismo. He seemed like a chill dude. Also, Jake was mad hungry, so maybe he could kill two birds with one stone with his wish.

"I wish for...a sandwich!" Jake shouted excitedly as he threw his hands up.

"A sandwich? Really?" asked Prismo in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah, maybe on ciabatta-"

"You realize that your best friend is possessed, stuck in an apocalypse, and has a donkey as his closest friend, right?"

"Yeah, man, but Finn will pull through anything! Now, on with the sandwich. Chop, chop!"

A sandwich suddenly popped up in Jake's hands. It looked amazing! It was all gooey with fresh, melted mozzarella cheese and fat, red slices of tomato and basil stuck out of it, and it smelled like it had some garlic thrown up in there, too.

"Thanks, man, this sandwich looks rad!"

"Hey, baby, how's it hanging?" came a sultry sounding female voice from the door.

Jake turned and jumped at the sight of the other-worldly bird before him, "Whoa, the Cosmic Owl?"

"Naw, man. This is the Cosmic Owl's _sister!" _Prismo smirked and made a come-hither motion with his finger, "Come here, baby and sit your fine tail feathers next to me!"

The bird flapped over next to Prismo and sneered at Jake, "What's a mortal doing here? I thought this was date night?"

"Sorry, babe, he just finished making his wish. I swear, mortals seem to be getting stupider as the millennia pass." Prismo then turned to Jake, "Alright, time for you to go. Nobody wants a third wheel."

Jake looked down at his body disappearing and shouted in a panicked voice, "Wait, man! This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go!"

Jake suddenly stopped vanishing as the all-powerful being eyed him suspiciously and said, "What plan?"

"My plan to get you to help me out with a wish!"

"What? I gave you your sandwich dingus!"

"Well, ok, before Lady-Owl got here you seemed kind of lonely and pathetic, but basically a nice guy. So, I thought if I could get you to feel sorry for me by making a stupid wish, then I could get you to like me and you'd give me a hint on what I could wish for to save everyone! Then, I dunno, as a side note maybe you would feed me and we could be friends."

"You think I'm desperate enough to be friends with a mere mortal?! Your entire life is not even a second from my perspective! Besides, would a _lonely and pathetic_ guy have this fine fowl as a girlfriend?" Prismo looked over at the owl suggestively and she ruffled her feathers with embarrassment.

"Alright, I'm sorry, man! Just, _please_ let me think of a better wish." Jake collapsed on his knees and gave Prismo the ultimate puppy dog eyes.

Now, no one will ever know this, but Prismo actually did feel really sorry for Jake. He wanted to help him, but not in front of his sexy owlette date. She liked jerks, so he had to be a jerk in front of her. It was kind of against his principles, but he hadn't gotten any action since the Ice Age, so his principles were a lower priority than they used to be.

"Nope. One wish, dude. And just for your attitude, I'm taking the basil off your sandwich."

With a wave of Prismo's hand, Jake disappeared while screaming "NOOOOOO!" He was unsure if it was about the basil or his friend.

Jake was thrown onto the ground. Was he back in Ooo? Would Princess Bubblegum come running up to him telling him some sciency way to rescue Finn? Just from breathing before he opened his eyes, he could tell it wouldn't be that easy. The thick, hot air burned his lungs as he breathed in. The air outside the candy kingdom always smelled like fresh-baked sugar cookies. He was too afraid to look at the world he'd entered, and ate the sandwich with a quick, nervous energy.

"Man, this isn't that good without the basil," he muttered.

Finally, when he had licked every crumb off his paws, Jake slowly opened his eyes to the sky darkened with nuclear poison. This world was real now. Anything he remembered of Finn and his life in Ooo never even happened.

_Just a random note: Jake's sandwich in this mini-chapter is the exact sandwich I just had for lunch! That's right- be jealous. For my returning readers who might wonder why I've been doing so many one shots lately, I do intend this one to be multi-chapter, so stick around! You can PM me ideas for it, or go on my forum and respond to questions and thoughts I had about the episode on there._


	2. Chapter 2

Jake stands slowly, trying his best to shield his nose and eyes against the burning air. He majorly screwed up. That sandwich just damned his friend and their entire universe, and he was beginning to feel pretty guilty for enjoying it so much.

He looked around for any sign of life, past the lakes of radioactive goo, the fires, and the pillars of toxic gas crowding the sky. His first instinct was to avoid the hotbed where the main explosion had been, but then he heard what he'd been listening for:

Finns frightened shrieks were just barely audible: "Jake? Jaaaaake? Jake!"

Jake gasped, and blew into a dog the size of the house, galumphing towards the sound. "I'm coming, buddy, just hold on!"

Just as Jake feared, the screams were coming right from the source of the bomb clouds in the sky. He shrunk down and crawled into the murky scene. The air stung his eyes so much he could barely see and his breathing was becoming shallow and labored.

Jake wiped his eyes and looked to see Finn crawling backwards, his eyes filled with terror. "Jake? Jake, what are you doing? BACK OFF MY CROWN, JAKE! I WARN YOU!"

Pursuing him was a monster that looked a lot like Jake himself did in Zombie form, dripping in an eerie green liquid. The creature was had glowing eyes and snarled maliciously as foam frothed around his mouth.

"Aww, sick man! Yo, Finn, that's not me!" yelled Jake as he crawled over.

The Jake monster grew bigger and Finn shot streams of ice at him. These were deflected like insects. Towering over Finn with a mighty roar, the creature's skin dripped off its skull and turned into the face of the Lich!

The creature snapped Finn up and crashed him into the wall. Without thinking, Jake flattened himself into a gigantic blanket and wrapped himself around the Jake-Lich's entire body. With one twist of his flesh wrapped around the creature's skull, the head snapped off of the monster in a stream of blood.

Jake looked down in shock at the creature before him and the blood matting in his fur. "Holy stuff! _I'm the Lich in this world?_ What the heck?" Then, in a few seconds, a slight smile parted his mouth, "Holy stuff, I just killed the Lich! Yeah, buddy, gimme five, Finn!"

He whirled around to see Finn lying unconscious on the ground, a large bump forming where the creature smashed him.

"Oh, geez, Finn!" Jake ran over to him and cradled his injured brother in his arms. He whispered reassurances frantically, "It's all good, bro. I killed him. I'm going to make you better. We're going to get that crown off you."

Jake's moment of reunion of Finn was interrupted with an irregular scraping sound behind them. He turned to see one of the most horrific things of his life.

Slowly but surely, the Lich's eyes had lit up again, and his head was dragging itself back to its body.

"Yo, me-Lich, that is creepy!" shouted Jake. He had no idea how to kill it if decapitating it didn't work and he didn't have the strength to try. He hoisted Finn on his back and whispered "We better get outta here, buddy."

Jake carried his friend to an abandoned house. He tried not to think of what must of happened to the people who left in such a hurry. The pantry was well stocked with food, and Jake was pretty happy that he found ingredients to make bacon pancakes. He wasn't hungry again, but Finn looked like he could use several good meals. Before starting to cook he tried to yank the crown off his head, but it had stubbornly affixed itself to its new master. Still, though, his body pumped with optimistic adrenaline that they had managed to live as long as they had.

"Finn, this reality won't be so bad as long as we're together!" Jake looked briefly over at Finn and then turned back to flipping the pancakes. "We went through messed up junk in Ooo, too, like Mom and Dad dying, and PB rejecting you so many times, and all the times our bods got wicked junked up in battles. We're gonna pull through this fine and when you wake up, we're gonna figure out how to get that crown off you."

At Jake's last sentence, a frantic buzzing hummed from the crown on Finn's head. Jake eyed the crown warily, but in a flash Finn's arm bolted up and encased his lower body in a stream of ice.

"You want to take my crown, _dog?!"_ shouted Finn in a rushed, delirious voice while bolting out of bed. He advanced towards Jake with wide, glazed over eyes.

"Finn!" Jake grunted feebly to get out of the ice, "Stop, this isn't you, dude. It's me, Jake!"

Suddenly, Finn's eyes turned human looking again and his voice lost its shrill madness, "Jake? But you turned into a monster and…" Finn thought hard while he looked at Jake before looking suspicious. "You're not Jake! Dogs can't even talk! I guess I really am going crazy."

"No, it is me! I've always been able to talk, but the crown's powers are just allowing you to hear me!" He thought this unstable version of Finn would buy this explanation more than _'I'm Jake from an alternate universe.'_

Finn glared, "Alright, if you're Jake, then I'll ask you something only the real Jake would know!"

"Whatevs, go for it, dude! I know everything about you!" Jake said, rolling his eyes with overconfidence.

"How did I lose my arm?"

Jake's face suddenly fell. He had not thought this through; of course he knew nothing about the past of this alternate Finn. He felt a sudden pang in his chest as all the memories he had with his human brother flashed through his mind. How is one supposed to mourn the loss of a past that isn't even real?

The dog looked through hooded eyes and slumped his shoulders in defeat, "I don't know, Finn. Look, just let me tell you-"

"Fair enough, you were just a puppy then;" reasoned Finn, "What's my last name?"

"Ummm," thought Jake desperately, "'the human?'"

"LIAR!" shouted Finn in his once again shaky, ravenous voice, "You're just a demon who looks like a talking dog! A demon who wants my CROWN!" Finn eyes turned into glassy, blue orbs and he ascended into the air with a few flaps of his wild, blond hair.

Jake, petrified in fear and unable to move out of the ice, could do nothing but stare into Finn's distant eyes. "I'm sorry, buddy," he muttered in a barely audible voice. He knew that he was about to die, but Finn looked much more unfortunate than himself.

Suddenly, Finn lowered his arms and looked thoughtfully at Jake. He flew down and circled the dog, observing him from all angles, "You're a demon, but I can rebirth you! You can be the new Jake when I rebirth you with ICE AND SNOW! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

"Finn, what are-"

"SILENCE, DEMON!" Finn shouted, coating Jake's entire body in a thick layer of ice.

Finn stared for a long time at Jake's terrified face under the layer of clean, smooth, cold ice. A frantic laughter built up in his chest with excitement. "That is right, sleep Ice Child! Soon the cold will cause your heart rate to slow until you are in a perpetual state just below death. Then, I will resurrect you into a new age- an age of perfect, clean, white snow and ice!"

With that, Finn picked up Jake and blasted a hole deep into the earth with a torrent of wind and snow. He placed Jake gingerly into his quickly made Ice cave.

"Stay there! I need another! Another Ice Child!" Finn thought, pacing back and forth. Soon, a wide grin distorted his boyish features. "The infant! The infant with the couple I sent away on that mule! I must retrieve it! Then, the child and the dog can go on adventures together throughout the land! It will be wonderful- like none of this ever happened. Then maybe, someday, I can be friends with them and forget all this!"

Finn left Jake and flew off to get the baby that he no longer consciously remembered was his younger sibling.


	3. Chapter 3

Jake heard distantly cries of a baby and the crackling of a camp fire. He wondered lethargically whose it could be. There was no sound of a parent consoling it, but then Jake got an alarming thought:

'_Oh slaps, what if I'm the parent? How long have I been asleep? Wow, did I really sleep through my corndogs being born? Geez, I'm lazier than I thought- I hope Lady won't be mad._

'_Oh no! Lady! I don't hear her! Is she ok?' _

Jake tried to shout out to her, but realized he did not have enough strength to speak. He drifted in and out of levels of consciousness, trying to will himself to get up. A few times he thought he had gotten up and ran to find Lady, but then realized minutes later when he was back in the exact same position that he was just dreaming. It exhausted his mind just to think about getting up, and he felt like his heart should be pounding. Then, when he listened to his heartbeat, he noticed that he could barely feel it. If someone tried to take his pulse they'd probably think he was dead.

Jake then started to wonder if he was dying. He started to relax himself and prepare to enter the circle of life, but then that globbin' baby started crying again.

'_Dang. I can't die yet or else that loud little meatball will die, too! Wow, I could use some meatballs right now.'_

Jake was unsure how long he had to wait for the strength to return to his body, or how long the baby cried while waiting for him. Little by little, his heart rate strengthened and he began to be able to move. First his paws, then his legs, and eventually he was able to lift his eyelids, which felt as heavy as bricks.

Above him were flickering shadows of the fire and hundreds of ice sickles dripping from the ceiling. He sat up slowly, almost falling on his face from dizziness. He swayed unsteadily as he stood and stumbled under one of the ice sickles to let the water drip into his mouth. Then his ears perked up as he heard the crying again. He blinked his eyes blearily and scanned the room. The room kind of stank like boom-boom.

Finally, he saw it. Curled up in the corner and covered in boom-boom was what looked to be a _human _baby. He walked over to the creature unsurely, wondering if he was still dreaming.

"Um, Finn?" he asked, poking the pink infants doughy flesh, "Did you have, like, a baby curse put on you? A stinky baby curse?"

The baby rolled over onto its back and reached up towards Jake. He looked down as it squirmed naked and stumbled back, "Whoa dude, what happened to your, um...you got a stinky baby curse that turned you into a girl?"

Jake picked the gross baby up gingerly. Written in familiar, scratchy handwriting across her chest was the name "FIONNA."

"You're not Finn," whispered Jake in shock. The little girl squalled weakly and shivered. Jake kissed her forehead quickly and created a kangaroo pouch in his belly to put her in. Jake marched out of the cave and grew to the size of a skyscraper to see his surroundings. He could see the candy kingdom just barely on the horizon, and could smell the embers of the fire kingdom a few miles in the opposite direction. The Ice Kingdom was right behind them, but the baby was already cold, so he didn't want to go there.

Jake peeked in his belly to see the infant snuggling into his fur. "I guess we'll just have to find food in the forest, chica! I know where a great pool is, too. You need a bath more than anyone I've ever met!"

After an hour of searching, Jake found some fresh berries, mushrooms, and some slabs of meat given to him by a meat woman. Jake didn't even know that there were any meat women, but he wasn't about to question a good thing. Finding the pond seemed to take forever. It didn't seem to look quite like he remembered it or be where it usually was. Actually, everything seemed a little bit off, and Jake still partially wondered if he was in some crazy dream.

Jake set the food aside and placed the baby buns in the pond. She splashed wildly with delight and smiled up at him. Jake chuckled a little bit and sang as he washed her:

"Hey there, little sudsy puppy,

Time to be a little water guppy!

Gonna get you all squeaky clean,

So that when mama smells you she doesn't scream!"

She smiled and giggled as he sang, reaching up to grab his jowls and pull them.

"Whoa there, lady! Watch the bread and butter!" Jake said as he pried her tiny fingers from his face. "You know, you're pretty cute when you're not nasty. You look a lot like Finn did in his baby pictures."

She just played with her toes, making little cooing noises. Jake wondered if all humans looked alike when they were babies. Even her hair was the same color, although she didn't have very much of it. He couldn't wait to see Finn's reaction when he found out Jake found another one of his kind.

After they were both clean and fed, Jake was exhausted again. Fionna seemed to feel the same way, since her head was nodding off as he was feeding her. His muscles felt like he hadn't moved them in ages.

As he laid on the grass to rest, with Fionna's gentle breathing drifting off to sleep on his chest, his mind started to play funny tricks on him.

Vivid images flashed in his head. A bomb. Himself turning into the Lich. A weird, multi-dimensional man in a time room. Finn in the Ice King's crown, rapidly losing his mind.

Jake bolted up from sleep so suddenly, that Fionna startled and began crying. He looked down at her. He could suddenly feel that something was very wrong. This looked like the home he was used to, but it wasn't- somehow he could tell. He struggled to put the meaning together for the images that flashed through his head, but they were rapidly slipping out of his mind already. Jake looked at the spires of the candy castle in the distance and sighed, blowing up to a gigantic size that would make the journey much less steps. Fionna looked up at him curiously.

He stretched some of his back skin into the shape of a cozy basinet and set the baby in there. "I'm sorry, babe, I know you're tired. I gotta find Finn, though. Something is just off."

As he walked, he saw a cute little elephant working in a pumpkin patch.

"Oh, thank glob it's you, Tree Trunks!" shouted Jake as he shrunk down, "PLEASE say you got some apple pie for my belly! I have had such a funky day!"

Tree Trunks turned and gave a scream that made her sound like an old man. The little creature then jumped into the bushes.

"Umm, Tree Trunks? You got a cold or something?"

"How do you know my name, magic dog?" the bush said timidly.

"It's Jake! Are you getting all forgetful? Also, why do you sound like a dude?"

The elephant marched out of the bush and glared at Jake, "I am a dude!" Jake's mouth fell open as he saw that Tree Trunks had a thick, gray mustache, a hat, and a bow tie.

"Uhhh…" trailed off Jake.

The little pachyderm glared at Jake, but his eyes lighted up when he saw the Jake-skin cradle with the sleeping baby in it.

"Y'all look exhausted;" he said in that same thick, kind southern accent lady Tree Trunks had, "want to come to my house for some coffee and we can talk?"

"Well, yeah we can do that. First, do you know a kid named Finn? He's pretty easy to spot- human kid with a bear hat?"

"Finn?" said Tree Trunks thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, my friend. I heard the last pure bred humans lived 1000 years ago. Not even I'm that old!" He chuckled softly.

"What?" said Jake, exasperated. "You're gettin' senile, dude! I just saw a bunch yesterday!"

"You did? My goodness, boy, where?"

"Well, they were all over the place! And a huge bomb went off that killed everyone! And-and, umm, I made a wish in this cube-and- um, sandwich-and…" Jake trailed off, realizing he was suddenly remembering more and he was starting to sound like he was from crazy town.

Tree Trunks, looking concerned, wordlessly led Jake in his house to sit down. Jake's eyes were glazed over with shock.

The last time he saw Finn was 1000 years ago. He could tell the elephant man was right- there were no signs of a bomb destroying the earth just yesterday, and no signs of humans, either. If Finn wasn't long dead by now, he would definitely not be who he was when Jake knew him. Lady, and Jake's future puppies. Bubblegum. Marceline. Beemo. President Porpoise. He wasn't sure if any of them existed anymore.

He didn't even know if he was real any more.

_Author's note: Sorry if this chapter was a little slower than the previous ones. I just felt I needed a little time for Jake to adjust to the craziness that is multi-universe travel and sleeping 1000 years. The crazy stuff is going to pick up very much in the following chapters, though!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: Thank you kindly for the reviews and stuff! I'll try to make my updates a week apart at the most. As much as I'd love to give you a new chapter every other day, each one takes me several hours and I have some cri-zazy obligations. Chapter 5 is already under way, though!_

Jake opened his eyes to see the top of a white, sugar frosted ceiling. His vision was kind of fuzzy, and he was pretty sure he'd been drugged. It took a lot of effort to sit up without getting crazy dizzy. He looked around and saw nothing but white padded walls and a pink bed. On the ceiling was a very obvious camera pointing towards him, and by the door was a pile of bones.

Jake looked at the camera with obvious distain and said, "_Bones?_ Really? Come on, give me some real food!"

There was a long pause and Jake let out a little growl. Suddenly a hasty, shaky voice spoke over the intercom, "We are sorry, Mr. Dog! Just tell us what you like! We read that dogs like bones."

"Well, why don't you just ask one?"

"Ummm," said the squeaky voice unsurely, "What kind of food would you like?"

"I dunno. Got any ribs? Bacon? Burritos? I'm not picky- I just want something more than scraps. I gotta keep my gut nice and curvy. You can't deny a rockin' gut." Jake looked down and swelled his tummy to the size of a watermelon, jiggling it hypnotically.

Minutes later, a platter of assorted gourmet meats were piled before Jake by the small marshmallow nurse. Her little hands shook nervously and jumped away from the platter as soon as she set it down as if she had been bitten.

Jake's mouth fell open and his bottom lip quivered while he moaned, "MEEEEAAAATTTTSSS." The platter was gone in seconds.

As Jake sat back, he erupted a large belch that seemed to clear his head. Bolting up, he yelled "Oh glob, where's Fionna?!"

The nurse stopped as she was about to sneak out the door. She turned slowly and said, "The human baby has been placed with a safe family who will raise her as their own, Mr. Dog."

"Oh," shrugged Jake, "well that's cool. Let me see her before I go look for my buddy."

The nurse whimpered a little bit, "I-I'm afraid I can't let you leave, Mr. Dog. You have not been determined safe for discharge yet."

Jake looked around passively. "Oh, so I'm, like, in a psych ward or some junk?"

The nurse just nodded.

Jake pondered, recalling his fuzzy memories with dude-Tree-Trunks. He had some flashes of himself growing to the size of the house, screaming, and smashing trees- an understandable reaction for someone who finds out all their loved ones and memories suddenly never existed. Then he remembered Tree Trunks calling for help, being surrounded by Candy Police, and suddenly feeling pretty sleepy.

All Jake wanted to do was find Finn and a way to open the portal again, but first he had to make sure this lady was telling the truth about Fionna. He had this strange protectiveness over her. She was the only other human he'd ever met besides his little bro. He felt like if she was safe, there had to be a way for him to be safe, too.

Jake walked very slowly towards the lady with his hands held up cautiously. "Tell me where Fionna is living just so I can check on her. I promise I'll never flip out on-"

"ASSISTANCE! ASSISTANCE! ASSISTANCE!" screeched the woman at the first step Jake took.

In less than one glarble, Jake was surrounded by muscled looking male nurses, the largest one wielding a sedative needle.

Jake stretched one of his jowls across the room and knocked the needle out of the nurses' hand. In the same moment, he stretched his ear to engulf the entire medical team in the air.

"Alright, look candy peeps, I'm not going to hurt you! I've just gots some questions! Questions for your little sucrose brains!" Jake said sternly.

They all nodded, a few making high pitched, frightened whimpers.

"How many years since the Mushroom War happened?"

"1000 years, Mr. Dog." said a nurse timidly.

Jake swallowed, confirming his fears. "Ok, now where am I?"

"The Candy Kingdom on the island of Aaa." piped up a chocolate-covered strawberry.

Jake raised an eyebrow. "Aaa? Isn't there a place called Ooo anywhere up in this craziness?"

The people all looked at each other and shrugged, some shaking their heads unsurely.

Jake sighed. He was getting too old for this. If he wasn't so worried about Finn and whether or not his pregnant girlfriend still existed, he would just kick back and go with the flow of this new realm.

Hesitantly, he asked "Do you know where I'm from?"

They all shook their heads firmly, but he could tell from their faces that they wanted him to go back to where ever it was. A little dark chocolate bar in a lab coat said, "Sir, don't you know this is the first dog any one has seen in this dimension in decades?"

Jake snorted with disbelief, "What, do the other dogs here live in the crystal dimension or something?"

The few people who weren't absolutely petrified with fear nodded.

Jake shrugged. For whatever reason, the dogs actually won the war with the ranicorns in this dimension.

"Alright, so you don't know where I'm from. Well, I'm from a place that never even existed. I'm not even sure why I exist. I don't know exactly why I got sent here like I was from Ooo, instead of being sent as that freaky version of me that turned into-" Jake stopped himself. He realized he was ranting and if he scared these candy peeps anymore they would wet themselves.

Remembering the Lich version of himself again also made him remember Finn with the crown on. He didn't like it, but he knew if he was going to find Finn anywhere it would most likely be in the Ice Kingdom. Before that, though, he said sternly "Tell me where Fionna and I'll let you go. I just want to be sure she's safe."

Nobody answered. Jake sighed and brought the ear full of people to his gaping mouth hole. Several of them started screaming, but he heard the answer come from one of them, "A little house in the forest on the south outskirts of the kingdom! A family of cats lives there!"

"K, thanks dudes!" Jake dropped them all on the floor, grew until he broke through the roof, and lumbered off. "Haha," he muttered to himself, "I wonder if they thought I was gonna eat them. I was just gonna threaten them with my dog breath."

Jake walked south of the kingdom, scanning the trees for a house. He had so many thoughts crowding his head that he thought his overloaded brain might start leaking out of his nostrils. Finn's wish did not prevent the Lich from never existing in the future, only in the past. The Ice King stopping the bomb prevented him from being created in the past, but then Ice King Fin caused it to go off, creating the Lich in the present. The apocalypse was also not prevented by Finns wish, but was delayed 1000 years. That delay seemed to create the world Jake was currently in, which was eerily similar to Ooo.

In a few minutes he came across a large cottage in a thicket of woods and tall grasses. It was so well hidden, that if cats didn't smell so strongly Jake would have passed it up. He shrunk down and knocked a few times on the door. There was no answer, but he could definitely tell the cats were nearby.

He walked around to the back of the house to see a cat kneeling by a frozen pond, clawing at a big fish just out of her reach.

"Hey, lady!" yelled Jake, "You need some help with pick-axe foot?"

The lady turned and gave him an amused look, _"Pick-axe foot?"_

"PICK-AXE FOOOT!" screeched Jake, shaping his right foot to a sharp point and slamming it into the glass with a crack.

The cat jumped back and picked up the fish graciously. "Why, thank you, Jake. I've been expecting you."

Jake backed up and cocked an eyebrow at her, "Really? You're not going to sedate me or act like I'm going to kill you?"

"Oh, goodness, no! Who do you think was the one who defrosted you with that campfire in the cave? When the fire died down, I went to get some more wood, but got delayed slaying some evil on my way back. By the time I got back you were gone."

"Huh," shrugged Jake, "well thanks for defrosting my bod, I guess. So, what, do lakes just randomly freeze over in the summer here?"

The woman scoffed, "No! That obnoxious Ice Prince did this!"

"Ice Prince?" asked Jake, perking his ears up with piqued interest.

"Hmm, it looks like Peppermint Maid's suspicions were right. You're not from here, are you?"

"Umm, no?"

"I know it must be disorienting. Come inside so you can see Fionna and you can tell me about it."

Before they walked up to the house, Jake felt someone cold and bony tackle him from behind.

"A DOG!" shouted the boy, laughing wildly. "A real, live dog! Hey, you're not made out of snow, are you?" The boy then proceeded to poke Jake all over.

"Ouch, hey cut it out, man!" Jake stretched away, but was hit in the face by a wall of snow.

"No, no, naughty puppy!" taunted the boy. Jake looked up and saw the lanky, blue skinned kid. Snow white hair flew in tendrils around him, and that cursed crown sat on his head. In his eyes, though, there was something very faintly familiar.

"_Finn?"_ asked Jake quietly.

"Fins are for fishes!" shouted the crazed boy, "Hey, that fish has some tasty looking fins! Give it here, cat-lady!"

Finn flew over to the cat, who flipped to the roof of the cottage with the fish.

"Jake, run! I can take him!" shouted the lady.

Jake moaned, looking between the two, unsure of what side to take. The cat leapt off the roof towards Finn, about to slap him in the face with the gigantic fish. Finn, in turn, grew a charging ball of ice, laughing manically.

Jake, in pure denial about what Finn had become, ran in between the two.

"Finn, stop! You got hero blood, bro! Heroes don't steal fish!"

Unfortunately, the feline and the ice boy were already mid-attack when Jake intervened. Jake got smacked hard in the back with the fish, and just as he tumbled to the ground the shards of ice rained down on the cat.

Jake struggled to get up before cold, thin arms lifted him and froze shackles around his limbs. Finn's breathing was creepy and irregular, and shook with unsteady giggles.

"Hey, dog, let's go fight stuff and live in a tree house. You can make me food, and we'll play video games, and then we can be best friends!" He soared up with Jake, zooming towards the Ice Kingdom.

Jake struggled, fixing to yell at Finn for acting so crazy, when a stunning thought hit him.

"Finn-"

"-ARE FOR FISHES!"

Jake sighed, "Whatever your name is- didn't you grow up on a farm in this reality?"

Finn stopped short in the air, cradling Jake in his arms. He looked into the distance, speaking in a surreal moment of apparent lucidity "I grew from the power of the ice and snow. From the white, lonely purity that no one appreciates but those who know it. No one likes the power I must have, but chaos is needed in many forms in this world."

Jake just grunted softly in response and Finn resumed flying.

If the Finn here grew up on a farm, and Ooo never existed, then why was the Ice-Prince-Finn daydreaming about living in a tree house and going on adventures with a dog…

Like it was more of a memory than what was supposedly reality?


End file.
